


Demons

by RealDaveofDaves



Series: The Maze of Moments - A Clay and Justin Story [2]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Caretaker Justin, Depression, Other, Panic Attack, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prom, Protective Justin, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 12:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15606171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealDaveofDaves/pseuds/RealDaveofDaves
Summary: In which after the Liberty High Prom, Clay suffers a panic attack.





	Demons

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for description of a PTSD induced panic attack.
> 
> This one-shot comes immediately after Chapter Nineteen of "A Maze of Moments - Book One," for context.

 

 

_I want to hide the truth_  
_I want to shelter you_  
_But with the beast inside_  
_There’s nowhere we can hide_

 - from "Demons," by Imagine Dragons

 

 

It was the firecrackers that did it. The students setting them off couldn't have known, and even if they had, there was still no guarantee it would have stopped them, teenagers being teenagers and all.

Prom 2018 had now come to an end. Students from Liberty High began to stream out of the Convention Center and began to make their way towards their cars, parked in either the medium sized lot that ran in front of and off to the right side, as one walked out, of the building, or the adjacent parking garage. More than a few seniors had rented limousines for the night, and those that had were walking towards the chauffeured black or white vehicles that were parked in a line alongside the garage. It had been a special evening for all, a pleasant bookend to what had been an eventful and, at far too many times, tragic year. The late evening sky was mostly clear over northern California, only a few clouds hung overheard, the moon was in its first quarter, the stars shone and twinkled in real time as opposed to the decorations in the main hall, and it was comfortable in the mid-60s. In short, it was, as Clay had hoped it would be, a perfect night as the clock was just past midnight.

To those who believed in the paranormal, it was now the start of the witching hour, a time when black magic was thought to be at its strongest and there was peak supernatural activity. It was the time for ghosts to walk the earth, witches would be at their most powerful, and demons might appear to torment and haunt the innocent. While the Gang may or may not have really believed in that sort of thing, what happened next as they waited for some of the crowd and traffic to dissipate would fit this apt description indeed. Because, sometimes, demons appear when you least expect them to. Clay had made it through the evening without any kind of incident - actually, the last several days without one. He had hoped it would be a weekend totally free of them, but his brain had other ideas.

Clay, Sheri, Cyrus and Alex were already outside, chatting with one another, while the rest of the Gang was still in the lobby of the Center, not having caught up yet. Clay had a huge smile on his face, and as he held Sheri's hand, he occasionally swung their arms back and forth playfully, or rubbed his thumb over that soft part of her hand, in between her thumb and index finger.

"You guys looked really good out there,' Sheri said to their friends. "Alex, it looks like your leg is getting stronger, like you didn't have hardly any trouble dancing."

_**pop! pop pop pop!** _

"I guess all that PT with Zach is actually paying dividends. I might not even need my cane by the time summer is over," he replied to her.

Clay's palm started to sweat, but he was still smiling. "That's great, man. I think you should keep the locker anyway, it makes you look dignified."

The three of them looked at Clay.

"Uh...I mean, the cane."

_**pop! pop pop pop pop!** _

Clay's breathing became a little heavier. His smile was still there, but now it looked forced.

"Clay? You okay man?" Cyrus asked.

A long string of firecrackers had now been set off by someone in the parking lot, at the far end. But still loud enough to hear.

_**popopopopopopopopopopopopopopopopop!** _

Clay let go of Sheri's hand and took a step back, breathing heavily. The WiFi was going out again. All he could hear now was echoing in his head. And it sounded more like a locker...more specifically, his head being slammed into a locker.

"Clay?" Alex asked. "Clay, what's wrong?"

"Hey...handsome guy...Clay?" Sheri added, now very worried.

The sound of the firecrackers echoed in Clay's head.

_**popopopopopopopopopopopopopopopopJENSEN!** _

_**thud** _

Clay blinked several times, continuing to breathe heavily, staring through his friends.

" _Gedjestin"_ he managed to say, as he started to sweat.

"What...Clay, we couldn't understand you..." Sheri said, now looking very concerned.

Clay took another step back and reached up to loosen his bow tie. " _Gedjestin..."_ he said again, this time through clenched teeth. " _Ged...jestin..._ "

Alex's eyes went wide. "He's saying to get Justin...Cyrus?"

"On it!" he answered, running back into the building.

Clay steadied himself against the side of the building, panting heavily.

"Clay....Clay, it's going to be all right," Sheri said before turning to Alex. "What do we do? Should we...call 911 or something?"

"I'm...I'm not sure...wait, here they come," he said, seeing the others coming over, led by Justin and Tony, both of whom were running quickly ahead of everyone else.

"Clay? Clay, what happened?" Justin asked as he gently put his hands on his foster brother's shoulders. "Clay, what's wrong?"

Clay jerked back as he was touched, and tears began to stream down his face. "Help...." he said almost inaudibly as he looked up at Justin.

"Okay...it's going to be okay, come on, let's go back inside....think you can do that?" Justin asked, suddenly becoming the calmest of the group. "Let's go back inside and sit down for a little bit."

Clay shut his eyes tightly, and through his short, harsh breaths, managed to nod quickly.

"Okay, come on," Justin said gently. "I'm gonna hold your arm...is that all right?" Clay nodded again.

A choked cry came from Clay as he clenched his teeth together once more.

"Okay, let's go..." He reached over slowly and put his hand on Clay's left arm, and unhurriedly guided him so they could walk down the sidewalk and back inside. The Gang came alongside the edge, shielding Clay from any onlookers.

"What's going on?" Sheri asked Zach and Tony, who had come up to walk with her.

"He's having a panic attack," Tony answered before their friend could. "I think he's been having small ones on and off, but he always seemed to be able to control them."

"Yeah, it looked like he was about to have one the other day at school," Zach added.

As they got back inside the lobby, Justin led Clay to a couch and helped him sit down. He took off his tuxedo jacket and handed it to Jess before crouching down. "Clay? Clay, look at me...it's all right, you're safe."

Clay's knuckles were white from his fists being clenched, sharp breaths still coming, punctuated by noises coming from his mouth indicating he was trying very hard to keep control. He shut his eyes again, and began to pound the couch cushions with his left fist.

"Clay. Clay, I want you to look at me...can you do that? Hey, little brother, look at me....focus on me," Justin had his hands on Clay's knees. "Come on, little brother, it's all right, you're safe. Can you look at me?"

Clay opened his eyes, which allowed more fat tears to stream down his cheeks. He opened his mouth, and ran his tongue over his dry lips, nodding at Justin.

"Okay...you're going to breathe with me. Can you do that? Yeah? Okay...here we go....breathe in...good, one...two...three...four...okay, deep breath now, and hold it....good...one...two...three...four...and let it out. Now, again...breathe in and out, that's it, nice and slow...hold my hands and squeeze if you need to...it's okay, you're not going to hurt me...and breathe, one...two...three...four...that's right, hold onto my hands, I've got you..."

The rest of the Gang watched in surprise, except for Tony, who knew how Justin could do this, having been told some days earlier. Justin stayed on his knees in front of Clay for several minutes, and although it looked at times like Clay really was hurting his hands from squeezing them tightly, his own face made no indication that it was doing so.

"Okay, that's good...let's breathe one more time. Ready? Breathe in...really good, one...two...three...four."

Clay started to relax and slumped back against the couch, normal color coming back to his face, and his breathing far more regulated. He lifted a shaky hand to wipe away some of the tears, but found that they wouldn't stop coming.

Ten minutes had now elapsed since the onset of his panic attack outside.

"Hey...you're okay, little bro. Do...you want to go to the bathroom...?"

Clay nodded and said "y...yeah..." weakly in reply, as Tony stepped forward. "I got this one," he said, helping Clay up slowly. "Come on, Clay, it's all right," he said, leading him away. "We'll be back in a few minutes," he said to the rest of the group. They walked over to and inside the men's room, bringing Clay over to a sink.

"It's all right, Clay. I promise," he said softly.

Clay nodded.

"You do what you need to do. Okay?"

Clay nodded again.

"Do you want me here, or...?

Clay shook his head. "N...no," he said quietly. "Don't...don't watch...."

Nodding, Tony went over to the door and turned the lock, looked back at Clay, and then turned his back so he was facing the door.

Clay started to cry openly, holding onto a sink, head down. "I...I'm s-s-sorry.." he choked out in between sobs.

"It's all right, Clay. It's all right."

Meanwhile, back in the lobby, Justin had taken Clay's place on the couch and leaned back, bringing his hands up to rub his face. Sighing, he brought his head down and saw the questioning looks from his friends.

"I....we all had to go to a therapy session with Clay, one of the first ones. His doctor taught us what to do if this ever happened. That's....that's how I knew what to do," he explained. "I told Tony about it...and we planned to tell each of you, just in case. But, like, it's been so fucking busy the last couple weeks and all...sorry guys, guess we should've made time."

"Justin," Jessica said as she sat down next to him. "That was...really incredible what you just did. Really."

"I mean...I'm just looking out for him," Justin shrugged. "I'm doing what any brother would do."

"Hey," Sheri said as she came to the arm of the couch and took his hand. "Thank you. That was...I don't know what to say, really. Just...thank you."

Justin nodded and smiled up at her.

"Dude...you're pretty awesome these days, you know that?" Alex said.

"It's New Justin," Jess said, kissing her date's cheek, causing him to look down and smile wider.

After about fifteen minutes, Clay came back with Tony to rejoin them. He was doing much better, the attack having passed, but he still looked shaky and a little upset. More embarrassed than anything else.

"Hey...guys. I'm....I'm really sorry you had to see that," he said. "I was doing so well the last few days, and...I guess I couldn't hold it in..."

"It was the firecrackers, probably," Cyrus said. "Lots of loud noises all at once."

Zach nodded in agreement. "Yeah, and you didn't know it was going to happen. It's all right, man, we understand."

Sheri came over and took his hands in her own. "Are you feeling better?" she asked.

"I...yeah," Clay nodded. "I'm...I'm _so_ sorry...I feel like I ruined our evening now. And...I should have told you about these. They...can happen. I just wanted to protect you, I guess...."

"No, you didn't ruin anything. Not at all. It's okay, Clay. And besides, our night isn't over yet," she smiled and kissed his cheek, which brought a small smile back to his face. " You don't have to keep _anything_ from me...okay? So...if you're feeling better, why don't we continue our evening? I hear there's even food back at your place, and I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

A grumble from Clay's stomach indicated that he was as well, and he was able to laugh as a result. "Yeah...food does sound good," he agreed before kissing her. "Thank you...for understanding." She nodded and kissed him back before she was brought in for a hug.

"Hey you," Clay said to Justin as he was hugging his new girlfriend. "Come here."

Justin got up and walked over as Clay let go of Sheri.

The brothers looked at each other for a moment, before Clay embraced Justin tightly. "Thank you," he whispered to him as he closed his eyes. "Thank you for protecting me...big brother."

"Always will, little brother," Justin whispered back. "You're welcome."

Clay discretely kissed Justin's cheek in appreciation and let go of the hug. "You wanna drive home?' he asked, taking the car keys out of his pants pocket. "I probably shouldn't right now."

Justin nodded and took the keys from Clay. "Yeah, no problem. You ready to get back to having fun again?"

Clay nodded and took Sheri's hand in his. "Yeah. Yeah, I am." He looked at the rest of the Gang. "Let's go enjoy ourselves," he nodded.

As they walked out again, the crowd and traffic was considerably less than it had been almost forty-five minutes before. Clay walked hand in hand with Sheri, feeling much better, and he resolved not to let this incident mar the remainder of the night. He knew he still had his demons lurking inside, and the fact that they had popped out briefly was upsetting. But, they were now, for the time being at least, safely back in their cages. And as long as he had his girlfriend, his brother, and their circle of friends, he knew that they would stay alongside him and fight those demons with him.

Maybe, just maybe...they would win that fight.

 

 

 

_Your eyes, they shine so bright_  
_I want to save their light_  
_I can't escape this now_  
_Unless you show me how_

\- from "Demons," by Imagine Dragons

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hi there Mazers! Welcome to my very first one shot in the Maze universe!
> 
> Okay, so originally, this was going to be part of Chapter Twenty. But as I started to write it, it took on a life of its own, and I felt that it could stand alone as its own story. I still want Prom night to be enjoyable for our heroes yet I wanted a little drama, so I figured - let's separate out the drama and have it be it's own thing.
> 
> Plus, I love writing vulnerable Clay and Protector Justin, so there's that.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one! Thank you so much for your kudos, and I look forward to reading your comments and feedback below. Not to sound like a YouTuber, but go ahead and hit that subscribe button up there somewhere, because more stand alone stories and one-shots are planned! 
> 
> Stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return...in A Maze of Moments, Chapter 20, coming soon! See you over there!


End file.
